Tag Archives: baby

The Parenting Code .. written by “Unqualified Mom”

ParentikngI totally know now why there is no book about the anxieties of parenting… Well, I guess there could be a book about it and I would never know, because I am a parent and don’t have time to read anything other than notes from the schools and a 2nd grade reading book with my daughter … But I’m pretty sure that there is a gap between the books of how to have great kids/how to be a great parent and how to fix your kids/how to fix poor parenting.  But I decided the other day, while sitting in the Driver’s License Testing area waiting for my daughter, that it is my time to shine… fill that void in the book world, write my book and pack my bags because Oprah will be booking me soon..

Writing a parenting book… Not just any parenting book, but a book about parenting that will change the world because all of the secret things that people conveniently forget to tell you will be revealed.  I know you may be asking what qualifications I have to write such a book and my answer would be … “None.”  Nope, no qualifications at all.  In fact, my pen name will be Unqualified Mom….but that’s not the point.  I just decided that writing a parenting book would easily be a top seller without much effort…. here’s why…

First of all, I don’t know one single parent who has time to sit down and truly read a parenting book.  Now maybe when you are expecting your first child  … or maybe when you are expecting your second child and the first one is in school or napping, but if you have more than two kids I can pretty much guarantee a parenting book becomes nothing more than prop to even out a wobbly table.

Secondly, parents want to be good at what they do so and if nothing else, they want to look like they know what they are doing… possibly even create an intimidation factor for the kids, so they will load up the book shelves with parenting books that would impress any grandparent.  Therefore, a parenting best seller need nothing more than an appealing title and an eye catching cover…. maybe even an interchangeable cover to match any decor.  It could be filled with substance but if it sells just because of the outer images, then why bother…

While sitting in the driver’s license testing center waiting for my daughter to take her road test the other day, I tossed a few book titles around in my head….  “Parenting for the Book Smart” (I’m pretty sure Parenting for Dummies is taken) … no……..”Have a New Kid by the End of this Book or Decide not to Have Kids by the End of this Book”….. no…….. “Kids…. Who knew?”….. no….. then finally… the one that Oprah will promote… ” The Parenting Code (Momma Never Told You but I Will)”.

This was the winner because of the gimmick factor and also the great possibility that Oprah would actually probably expect me to answer some questions about it….  so, for those who are parents and are truly wanting to read a parenting book (I still don’t think it is possible), I will add a bit of parenting wisdom and it won’t really matter what I say because it will totally in code form. (I figure if you have time to read it then you will have time to figure out the code.) The code will make it seem more intellectual and mysterious… taking it totally to the number one spot on the New York times list.

The little tidbits of wisdom I give will be all about those little things no one told you about being a parent because if they did then, just like the Shakers (Google it), civilization would die… yes, you read that correctly… if people were told about all of the sleepless nights, the anxieties, the worries, etc then there would be no procreation… so my wisdom would enlighten many and help them deal with the realities of the parenting life.

All of this came to mind that day because, try as someone may have to tell me to expect this, it just sank at that moment ……that as they grow and spread their wings and fly into adulthood you still ache when they ache, rejoice when they rejoice, and would fight tooth and nail to keep them safe…. Though the idea of a more convenient daily routine was enticing, I still think I would be okay driving her around for a few more years, but it was not to be.  Despite forgetting to turn on the ignition during her driving test, my daughter passed the road test and is now a licensed driver.

I was told that life would never be the same again.. (See if you can figure out the code in that sentence)

So this is the only qualification I have to write a parenting book on the “silent code” to keep civilization booming… I am a parent and I always will be… no matter how old they are.  ….Now that I think about it though, I would hate to be the cause of the end of civilization.  So therefore, maybe I should focus on the “Parenting for the Book Smart.”

And for the record, my daughter got her license last Tuesday….. And she totaled the van last Wednesday.  So I am definitely qualified!


Philippians 4:6-7

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus”.

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Posted by on October 14, 2009 in Faith, Fun, Life Stories


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Big Hero, Lasting Legacy, God at Work… all in a Tiny Baby Girl

preemieToday I saw God at work. I saw a tiny, little hero leave a legacy in just a few, short hours.  The three pound hero was a beautiful baby girl who we’ve been praying for ever since we found out that her parents were expecting her… and surprisingly expecting her twin brother too.  The expectant dad and I work together and I am fortunately a part of a very close staff.  We were excited enough to find out that they were going to be first time parents, but when they added the twin part of the equation to the pregnancy all of us on staff were elated and couldn’t wait for the June babies to arrive……I already loved those little ones as if they were family… in fact, I was ready for those little ones to call me “Aunt Nancy.”

Several months ago, though, our friends received discouraging news about their babies.  It seemed that there was some trouble with one of the babies and things didn’t have a great outlook. With the discouraging news of low amniotic fluid for baby girl, came low percentages of the chance for her to make it to 24 weeks… likely both babies would not make it.  Eventually bed rest was the only solution and for two months, mom and dad have lived at the hospital.  It has become their second home.   Prayers went out, time went by and baby girl surprised us all.  She was doing remarkably well.  She was growing and moving and regardless of the fluid situation was doing quite well.  Baby boy was growing too, and according to experts should have been much bigger than his sister but she was holding her own.

Weeks passed and 24 weeks was long gone… each day was a milestone and each additional week was a miracle.  The goal was to get the babies to at least 31 weeks and hopefully to 34 weeks but knowing that at anytime mom could be rushed to the OR.

Today was that day, at 31 weeks the babies had grown so much that it was safer for them to be born than to risk the lack of fluid.  Mom and Dad were ready to deliver their babies and the rest of us were waiting in anticipation outside the delivery area.  When they were born baby boy was doing quite well… but more discouraging news for baby girl.  Her lungs weren’t developed enough and the doctors gave a grim outlook.  Their prediction was correct.  We were in the room as we watched Mom and Dad cuddle her, hold her and tell her goodbye.  Three hours after her birth little Addison was gone.

So how did I see God at work?  I guess one would think that God at work would mean a miraculous recovery for this little baby and we would be able to tell the world about how we saw a critical little baby become perfectly healthy… I had hoped that for my friends.  I didn’t want them to experience something that most never have to experience… .I hoped that God would work that way but that was not his plan… but as I left the hospital I began thinking about what, according to those giving medical advice, should have happened long before this date.  Little baby girl was not supposed to have lived this long but if she had died in utero then her brother would have likely died too.  Both would have had to have been born at the same time and little baby boy wouldn’t have had the developed lungs to get him through too. …

The more I thought about it the more I thought about the miracle that I saw today… a little, tiny baby girl saved the life of her brother…. she fought when others thought she couldn’t… she grew when others thought it was impossible… she arrived and gave her parents the joy of seeing her move her little hands and feet  and the joy of holding her in their arms… what a hero she lived to be and what a legacy she left behind… her brother.

My friends are not alone… they trust in a great big God who has a plan that we can’t always understand… they have friends and family who have gathered around them as they grieve for one child and rejoice in the health of the other… they also have experienced something that others have also experienced…. If you or one you know is going through a similar situation please know that there is a God who wants to comfort you through and  that there are others out there that have gone through what you are now… support can be found at:

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Posted by on April 16, 2009 in Faith, Life Stories


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