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Tell me about it, Moses P. Diddy Hall…

flipperI don’t know why I have such high expectations for the animals that I choose to own.  Maybe those expectations were formed because of reruns of great shows such as Flipper (though I never owned a dolphin), Lassie or Fury…. or maybe it was Lady, my cousin’s collie who was incredible well behaved… or Babe, my uncle’s dog that was showbiz intelligent…..or Benji. How could I forget Benji? Whatever the reason, with a little training, I knew it couldn’t possibly be that difficult for my very own dog to become something of legend… nothing short of a human on four paws.

So let’s see, first there was Gustavia.  Gussy was a little white poodle who chased cars, chased cattle and rolled in manure… smart dog.  Then later came Rascal.  An adorable little dachshund that turned out to be an incredible bully in the amateur dog show circuit.  Then there was Sam.  Another poodle who, for all practical purposes, was a pretty good dog, but he did bark at himself in the mirror. (Wouldn’t it be funny if people acted surprised to see themselves in the mirror each time?) There were more pets down the line… Buddy 1, Buddy 2, Bandit… and some cats, hamsters, and even a skunk (Yes, you read that correctly) but none have met the superstar expectations that I have believed in for so long… that is, until recently… .

Now, our ever-lovable shih-tzu, Moses P. Diddy Hall (a.k.a. Moe) is a dog that when told to sit, he sits…. well,  he might lie down…. or  possibly he will continue to go about what he was doing.  He is also a dog that wears a diaper… well, technically it is a “belly belt” but you get the idea.   Moe also knows to get in his bed when told, he knows to “hit the rock”(our family’s ultra hip term for shaking paws), he knows to go to the car when the van door opens.   He even hates hanging out at the dog park… he waits by the exit gate until we are ready to take him home.  See, it is hard for me to decide if either Moe is very intellegent and just pretending to be a dog to get out the whole “work dog” group, or if he is just like all of my other dogs in the past…. just a regular ol’ dog.   I have been leaning toward the regular ol’ dog thing for quite some time, that is, until one night not too long ago. Moe at Dog Park Gate

Moses P. Diddy Hall is not allowed to be on the couch.  He has his bed. He has his spot near our feet.  He is totally fine not to be on the couch, but on occasion there are those special times where we give in and give him some supervised couch time.  Such as it was on that evening when I was certian that Moses P. Diddy Hall would be paying for my children’s college education.  I was sitting on the couch and Moe was comfortably resting on my daughter who was on the couch next to me.  Allison’s position was perfect as she laid on her back because if I turned my head slightly then Moe and I were face to face.

As Moe and I looked at each other, just as usual, I said something to him.  I can’t even remember what it was but when I said it, something amazing happened.  Moe began to talk back!…. and I’m not talking barking kind of talk… it was conversation kind of talk.  Now, I might not have thought anything about it if I hadn’t seen the youtube clip of funny talking dogs but I knew Moe was trying to tell me something.  I kept asking him, “What is it, Moe?” And he kept voicing something that was clearly a concoction of vocal movements that were trying to form words.  To get him to continue his talking ability I started looking at him and saying things like, “Mama” (I never think of my dogs as kids so this was very awkward for me) and ” I love you.”  Moe would look at me and try to repeat it.

I was so excited I could hardly believe it.  I had a plan. He and I were going to work on this daily until he could speak in conversation.  I started counting the dollars in my head.  I called my husband, who was out of town (explanation of the couch time that Moe was getting), and told him the whole story.  He didn’t share my enthusiasm.

The following day, Moses P. Diddy Hall and I went to work.  I got down in his face and began talking to him.  “Mama,” I said.  Moe looked at me.   “Mama,” I continued.  Still Moe looked at me.  I changed my pitch.  I changed my tempo.  Moe looked at me then cocked his head and looked away.  It was time to change my game plan.  I began the whole, ” I love you” verbiage.  Moses P. Diddy Hall looked at me and walked away.  I didn’t get it.

I began telling my story to anyone who would listen.  My husband, my other daughters, but it was while I was telling a friend about my incredibly talented, Hollywood bound dog that would surely be whisked away to star in his own movie, when my hopes and dreams for him came to an abrupt halt.  Allison felt it was time that she stepped in and prevented me from the inevitable… making a fool of myself.  She quietly pulled me to the side and said, “Mom, I was blowing in his face.” It seems that the only reason Moe was “talking” was because he apparently doesn’t like to have someone blowing in his face.  I was stunned. Moe is just a plain ol’ dog …. he is no different than any other dog that I have ever had.  After the initial shock of the whole confession, I found it all quite funny.  Fortunately, I was halted from looking like a fool and fortunately, I listened to what she had to say.

I wish faith was that simple.  You know, something like….we may be a bit out of line, acting foolishly, forgetting to include God in our everyday life and then we are told we are being a bit foolish and we fall back into line…. that would be simple.  I guess sometimes it might be that way, but there are those other times when we get so busy doing the right things in life that we may not realize we are doing them on our own…..depending on our human ability rather than trusting in God’s ability.   In Galatians, Paul comes down pretty hard on the people.  He even states that they are being deceived and they don’t even realize it because they are so caught up in living by the religious law that they have forgotten about what Christ did for them/us all.   Still today, we may not be in Galatia, but we still tend to lean on our human ability, thoughts and decisions rather than allowing God to guide our way. I wonder what would happen if we all began to lean on the gift God gave us rather than wearing ourselves down and eventually looking foolish……

If Moses P. Diddy Hall really had the gift of gab, I’m sure he’d have the answer.

Galatians 3

1You foolish Galatians! Who has bewitched you? Before your very eyes Jesus Christ was clearly portrayed as crucified. 2I would like to learn just one thing from you: Did you receive the Spirit by observing the law, or by believing what you heard? 3Are you so foolish? After beginning with the Spirit, are you now trying to attain your goal by human effort? 4Have you suffered so much for nothing—if it really was for nothing? 5Does God give you his Spirit and work miracles among you because you observe the law, or because you believe what you heard?

6Consider Abraham: “He believed God, and it was credited to him as righteousness.”[a] 7Understand, then, that those who believe are children of Abraham. 8The Scripture foresaw that God would justify the Gentiles by faith, and announced the gospel in advance to Abraham: “All nations will be blessed through you.”[b] 9So those who have faith are blessed along with Abraham, the man of faith.

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Posted by on September 24, 2009 in Devotions, Faith, Fun, Life Stories

 

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No more Naps!! Well, unless I want a Hot Tub….

woman sleepingAn innocent little nap and poof! I’m a builder.  Yes, it may sound like I was dreaming and although I have been reading about Solomon building the temple… I wasn’t dreaming……..

Several weekends ago, I took a little afternoon nap.  While napping my husband thought that it would be a bit funny to snap a photo of his lovely wife sleeping her little heart out while he was also being overly productive and digging holes in our back yard.  Now, we had not discussed digging holes in the yard so when he came in with the news of his hard work while I was snoozing, I found it quite amusing…. killing time digging holes when he could have been relaxing.  It was during my laughing that he pulled out the enemy… the sleeping beauty photo (that’s me)… I began to listen to what he had to say at that point.  Well, he thought I was listening but I was really trying to concoct a plan to get his phone away from him and delete the photo… During this time I thought I heard him say, “Blah, blah, blah, sleeping, blah, blah, blah, digging holes, blah, blah, blah, 4×4’s, blah, blah, blah, patio, blah, blah, blah, pergola.”  I smiled, nodded in agreement and went to look at the holes in our yard.  There they were… four two-foot deep holes at the edge of each corner of our patio.  For years we have tried to cover our patio area with some sort of shade canopy but our backyard happens to be in a wind tunnel and after the first big storm of the season hits, the canopy flies away or at least bends to unrecognizable shapes.  Apparently, what I agreed to while drifting in and out of photo deleting plans, was helping him build a pergola over our patio. I might as well have agreed to helping build the temple in Bible because I had to clue what he was talking about.  I finally had to go look up the word pergola because I was getting the whole pergola/gondola  thing way mixed up and couldn’t figure out how four posts would mean anything for a gondola other than a docking spot and then I couldn’t figure out how an Italian boat would add value to our home… or even shade.

Anyway, after hoping the idea would go away and trying to find a better way than building it ourselves… I gave up and gave in to what will now be always known as the “Pergola Project”.  We borrowed a truck, bought the lumber, printed out free plans and went to work.  Neither one of us knowing what we were doing began to measure, cut and level…. We were clueless except for the fact that we had faith in my husband’s pergola dream and the free online plans.  As we were in the process of building, our neighbors, one by one, began gathering around.  Now, we have Great (that is with a capital G) neighbors and didn’t mind their advice nor their company.  No problem at all.  IMG_0214The problem came to be when we found out something that created in us a whole new feeling of insecurity.  Our neighbor had family visiting…. and it wasn’t just any family visiting…. it happened to be the brother-in-law… the brother-in-law who is a builder….not just any builder…. but a builder of really, really nice homes…. We had to up our standards right then and there.  We couldn’t have him look out the door and laugh at the bumbling amateurs across the yard…. but, it was hopeless.  We were bumbling amateurs and though we were following a plan we were also making it up as we went along. I’m thinking he was well entertained….

Well, with a few setbacks of rain and the end of daylight, the weekend project that we estimated taking about three weeks, actually only took one weekend.  Who knew that we could do it?  Well, I’m not going to give myself a pat on the back until a good windstorm goes through… if it stays grounded in cement then we can consider it a job well done.IMG_0220

So, I am vowing that naps, at least when my husband is home, are off limits.  No more naps… not so much because I could have stopped the Pergola project but because I don’t want another photo taken of me while I sleep… by the way, the sleeping beauty photo is in deletion heaven and I am now looking up more building projects.  I think I want a hot tub….. hmmm, maybe I should take a nap and see if my husband will level out the backyard so we can get started….

2 Chronicles 3

Solomon Builds the Temple

1 Then Solomon began to build the temple of the LORD in Jerusalem on Mount Moriah, where the LORD had appeared to his father David. It was on the threshing floor of Araunah [j] the Jebusite, the place provided by David. 2 He began building on the second day of the second month in the fourth year of his reign.

 
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Posted by on May 26, 2009 in Faith, Fun, Life Stories

 

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Kiss me … I’m Awkward… Happy Awkward Moments Day

st_patricks_031_01If you’re not Irish, not a beer drinker or don’t happen to have a green piece of clothing in your wardrobe then March 17th kind of leaves you feeling like you are missing out. But I have a solution! St. Patrick’s Day has held the limelight for so long that people have totally overlooked the next great March holiday… Awkward Moments Day!  March 18th is day to revel in your foot in the mouth, blushing, heart-racing, awkward moments… I think most of us have something to celebrate on that day.  I know I do..How about this one? Falling down the steps at Rupp Arena… rolling, rolling, rolling all the way down ..or how about this?  Totally forgetting something or about something only to later experience that  awkward moment because of the forgetfulness……

Okay, here’s my story.. when you move into a new place you want to make a good impression.  So I was invited to a new friend’s house to scrapbook while our girls swam in the backyard pool.  We’ll days before I had gone to a store and being an outlet type store it had name brand undies that were branded “irregular.”   I couldn’t imagine that it was anything but maybe a wrong color thread so for the great bargain price  I bought them.  So on this day of scrapbooking I was chatting with my new friend in her kitchen when she went out to check on the girls and I went back to my scrapbooking space.  As I was walking I felt something on my leg.  At first I thought maybe it was a spider or something so I shooed it away but as I swiped at the “bug” I felt some fabric.  I grabbed it only to be amused at the fact that a sock was caught in my shorts and had made it’s way well below my knee cap for all to see.  I grabbed it and giggled as I thought of this funny story to tell my new friend but as I grabbed it and pulled I realized that it wasn’t releasing itself and I thought it must be caught so I pulled harder.  It was at this moment that I totally realized that this was no sock ………..it was my irregular underwear.  The seam had a bit of dry rot I suppose and completely fell apart… but only one leg.  I quickly fled to the bathroom to fix it and found out that fixing it wasn’t even an option.. the only choice was to discard it.  As if that wasn’t awkward enough… there is more… I didn’t know how to get rid of the underwear. There was a dirty clothes hamper right there in front of me but I knew better.  There was an almost empty trash can, but how weird would that be to find a pair of unknown panties in the trash can in your own home’s basement bathroom… awkward… So I did what anyone else would have done…. I stuck it in my pocket and though I was a bit uncomfortable, tried to finish up my time there as if nothing had happened.forgetful

On our way home that afternoon, I was nearly on empty so I stopped to get gas. I filled it up, went in to pay and while rummaging through my pants for change felt something weird in my pocket.  I thought to myself, “What is this?”  At that moment, while waiting to pay for my gas I reached into my pocket and pulled out, in front of everyone behind the counter and in line at the Shell station, my irregular underwear!  I was mortified… totally awkward moment!

Why is it that we forget so easy?  After feeling so awkward about the fact that I had to put my undies in my pocket, why on earth did I not remember that they were there?

I guess the whole forgetting this is pretty common… in the Bible I’ve been reading for some time about the Israelites who are constantly being saved by God but yet they continually forget about what he has done for them.  They gripe and complain, rebel and disobey all because they aren’t thinking back and therefore aren’t reminded of what God has done for them already.  What he has given them …

What have you stuffed in your pocket?  Give yourself an opportunity to remember what God has done in your life.

By the way, I’d love to hear it.

Happy Awkward Moments Day!

 
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Posted by on March 18, 2009 in Faith, Fun, Life Stories

 

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Squirrel Appreciation Day

I found out today that beginning nine years ago, January 21st marks the annual Squirrel Appreciation Day.  I don’t know that I have ever appreciated a squirrel.  Hmmm….I’m not even sure I know how to appreciate a squirrel.   Baby squirrels are pretty cute… well, after they get some hair …   Is that appreciation?  There I said it… I appreciate baby squirrels.  Now what do I do?  Chocolates? A card?  baby-squirrel

 
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Posted by on January 22, 2009 in Fun

 

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